David Bowie does not have paranoid schizophrenia!!!!

You know those makeup things, where they show a picture of a person before and after makeup?
( Those are so crazy! )

Uh oh. I think I may have Alzheimers. Whether I actually have it or not is (very, very) trivial, but I'm just gonna write about it to make myself feel better and have a laff. Seriously I'm not even going to look it up. So if it's your fun idea to tell me that I do have it FU AND ROT IN HELL BIOTCH.

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Yay, only two more days until the long weekend! It's gonna be awesome. I'm going to spend all of Sunday doing nothing but sleeping. Sleep, sleep, sleeping, and maybe go on the computer.

Sometimes I wish that's all I had to do. If I could be a cat, or something. I would live in my old best friend's barn and live with the horses and eat the cat food she always would put out... LOL. Oh god. Flashbacks to when I was eight years old and actually thought I was a cat. Or some sort of animal. Haha!

I still wouldn't mind being an animal... maybe...
*needs to stop posting weird random shit*
Amish would be fun too... (Amish guys are hot, kay!)


I'm so naturally lazy, and life is just too much work. It's too much work to always have to act happy and funny, and be always counted on to have something witty to say, and to be intelligent and mature and in shape and always get good grades at school and understand complicated concepts. I can't do it!! Ahh! I'm not even that smart, the only way I get through classes is writing lots of pretentious crap.
I always have this fantasy of breaking through the barrier of "mankind" or my life, or whatevs. It's like a thick gigantic sheet of dark blue paper, and I start running towards it as fast as I can (which in the fantasy is some unnaturaly fast speed, yep) and begin to combust into a ball of fire. When I reach it, I break through the sheet of paper in a huge thundering rip, growing a pair of magnifigcent flaming wings while I'm at it, and then soaring off into the twisting, neverending chaos of the universe which is the other side. By this time I'm also like a horse, or some crazy shit. Goodbye forced, social, hierarchical, condescening, ignorant, mundane human world! Wooo!
LOL. Okay, I know I bitch way too much. It's my favorite hobby. (Either than sleeping.) I refuse to be happy and enjoy what I have!

ARGH. There's this song I want to download so badly, but I can't find who the artist is, or what it's called. :((( Meeh! :( It plays in the French movie Happily Ever After, in the scene where Johnny Depp makes a cameo appearance with Charlotte Gainsbourg in an elevator...
I would like to find it!
So, here's my motivation:
1)If I don't find it within a week something bad will happen.
2)If I do find it in a week something good will happen.

THE PRESSURE IS ON.

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/national/story.html?id=bcb4eb08-6023-4068-a964-3c66fd46abff&k=84472&p=2

It looks like the Pope is pissed at Canada, mainly because of our laws legalizing abortion and same sex marriage.
Now I personally don't think religion and politics should mix, because government should be a fair representation of everyone, not just Christians, and not just the beliefs of any religious group who decides they want to step up to the political plate.
But sadly it doesn't work like that. The Pope's criticism could go whichever way. Either the Catholic Harper is going to feel the guilt and revisit the gay marriage and abortion laws, or it's marijuana that's going to be legalized next. Or inertia could prove itself right once again, and nothing will be changed at all.
And I actually agree with the Pope on some counts. I support that he's going around and making sure laws aren't fucked up too badly. But I also think he's got his head shoved up his backside.

( If I Could Make the Laws )

I'm thinking of writing in this again. I used to write in blogs and journals all the time, and I actually do kinda miss it.

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I've just tried waxing my legs for the first time. Not only was it kind of unsuccesful, it BLOODY FUCKING HURT!!!!! The first strip was okay, but then the next ones really started getting to me. To make the whole thing worse, my sister (who was ripping them off for moi, I guess I'm just to chicken to do it myself :p), for some FUCKING reason, ripped one strip off very slowly! It hurt so badly and didn't work, and I was so mad, I actually felt like crying (come on, give me a break, I had PMS!) because that was so fucking unneccesary of her! I don't think she meant to hurt me, but god! I wanted to throttle her throat off! The only way I managed to get through with the rest of it was by listening to the random David Bowie songs I have on my computer. He means so fucking much too me.
*sighs* I've just recently bought the Black Tie White Noise DVD. It's fucking wonderful. It's almost annoying how perfect David Bowie is!

Ack. Bitchy depress time. I have just watched my own personalized version of the Horror Movie. Like the kind that makes your heart race, tense up with sickening fear, cover your hand over your mouth to keep from screaming. Uh, no, it wasn't I Know What You Did Last Summer. It was that Family Man movie, starring Nicolas Cage (Who my mom probably has crush on. Yessir!).
Uh god, that kind of gruesome cinema should not be allowed to be committed to film! I mean, lord, it only has a PG13 rating!!! What kind of bollocky society are we turning into?!!!!
Here is just an overview of the explicitly horrific material contained in it *shudders*: An extremely wealthy, independant, powerful man who is the president of some heighty Wall Street company, about to make their biggest breakthrough, somehow gets transported into a life he could of had if he married an old girlfriend. In that life he lives in the crappy suburbia, has a job selling tires, has KIDS, is tied down to an emotional, overenthusiastic wife, and has annoying-sweater-wearing-all-white-christian-conservative-rightwing-find-the-weather-and-bowling-exciting friends and family, bla bla bla BLA. And to make that horrifying story even more disgusting, he actually learns to love his couldofbeen life over his old one!!!! Because the new life had the constant support of love from his family, the joy of having children, etc, etc.
Ew. Yuck. Suspicious, bollocky material, me be thinking!
Well, errr, okaaay, I admit it's a nice premise, and it's probably only my icy heart that thinks money is much more important than love.
But the thing is, I don't think that! I don't have an icy heart! It's just that that movie fucked up everything I believe in! I never want to get married! I never want to have a family! I don't want kids! I want to get educated, be the BEST and become so fucking successful and bloody fucking rich. And it's not because I like spending money and buying fancy things, but just HAVING all that money would be heavenly. I want to be powerful. I want to live by myself, and never have to answer to anyone, or be tied down to someone. That's how I want my future...BUT that movie, it actually made family seem like a great thing to have. It made it seem that if I lived my future the way I'm planning to, I'd never be fully happy or fullfilled. Ack! I'm so muddled and confused right now, all due to that bloody movie. Gee, all due to my mothers love for the Cage, I might be living in a suburb with three kids and a nonexistent career. Thanks mom. No, really mom. I'm forever indebted. When I'm all grown up, and if I can scrounge enough money, I'll buy you an inflatable life-size Nicolas Cage doll!

Arrrrrrr! Rant time!!!!! Ok, it is now summer vacation (yee!), but I'm still acting like a fucking retard with myself. Blech.
I still can't seem to eat properly, sleep properly, exercise, bla bla bla. *sighs* I don't know why. Maybe it's because mostly everyone I know (except the parents, and my friends) smoke weed and drink, but I don't (god, I know, I'm such a loser), so it makes me feel like I'm invincible. Like, "Hey, I've never smoked a joint once, and everyone else smokes them daily, so even though I eat shit and never exercise, I must still be like, WAYYYYY better off than them!" Eh, I don't know missy, haven't you had this cold for three weeks now? When was the last time you didn't feel like complete shit? I mean, jeeeeez, when was the last fucking time you had your period?!! Oh my.
*sighs again* This is how I spend my free time: sitting at the arcade with my best friend, wasting all my money (which I do NOT seem to have a way to earn back!) on god knows what crappy pinball game (I lose EVERY time!!!GAHHHH!!!!) and eating as many hamburgers as I possibly can. I have actually been described as "the female Jughead". Hehe, it's true! I'm so bloody skinny, but I probably eat three times more than the average person. (I've also been described as "the female Mr. Blonde". I don't know whether to be shocked and insulted by that or, erm, very pleased ;). )

Gad, as I think there is no way to put an end to my idiotness, I will probably die at the age of 50. Errr, yee?

Possibly my most hated movie character of all time. Yech.

Hehe, it came to my immense pleasure yesterday, while looking through used music section in my friendly neighbourhood secondhandthriftstore **(Jeez, I always look there. What am I expecting to find? An old David Bowie vinyl? More like "Children's Christmas Time Favourites"!!!! I did find a Sinead O' Connor cassette once though! It was only like a couple cents, and my dad still bought it for me.)** in the crappy CD bin, among the Backstreet Boys and homemade wedding CD's, I found Vanessa Paradis!!!!! HA! HA! HA! Guess WHOOOOO made it into the Crappy CD Bin!!!! Hehehhehehhe!!!! Va-NESS-a Pa-RA-dis!!!
Ok,ok, don't get me wrong. You shouldn't deny me the indulgent pleasure I got from that! I mean, it's not like I'm , erm...jealous of her. Like, WHY would I be? Because she's married to the man of my dreams? Noooooo!...Well, okay, maybe! But that doesn't mean I'm jealous of her! I'm just not a jealous person. I'm the type of person who,when seeing their signifigcant other check someone else out, says something like : "Wow, that chick DOES have nice buns!". *heehee!* ;) So just take that in mind here...
Look what made it into the Crappy CD Bin!!!!!!
Having a bad hair day, Vanessa? Like always?
NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! Vanessa Paradis has NO BOOBS!
Something not going perfectly your way, you spoiled piggish brat? And are those eyebrows or caterpillars?
That has GOT to be the ugliest dress I've ever seen! (Is that even Vanessa Paradis? It looks more like that Princess Diaries girl. Damn, Google Images is so hard to trust!)
Going for the crack whore look today Miss P? What's that you say? You can't help the way you are?

*sighs* That made me feel better, for like a second or two. Some people just have all the fucking luck in the world!

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously. Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.

Your date match profile: Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Funny 3. Adventurous 4. Big-Hearted 5. Sensual 6. Shy 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Practical 9. Stylish 10. Intellectual

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Funny 2. Adventurous 3. Practical 4. Shy 5. Big-Hearted 6. Sensual 7. Intellectual 8. Conservative 9. Wealthy/Ambitious 10. Stylish

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

David Lasky, you rock man!

Crap, I just went ballistic at blogthings.com!!!!

Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is

Livia Montenegro

Your Political Profile

Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

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You Are 20% Extrovert, 80% Introvert

You are quite reserved You aren't afraid of social situations... But you very much prefer to go it alone And why not? You're your own best friend!

Part Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Your Inner European is Russian!

Mysterious and exotic. You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy

You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations. Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories. It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you. You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

You Will Die at Age 55

55 Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

You Are Best Described By...

(Stamped) Lips by Andy Warhol

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 40% of the population. You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

You are 87% Aquarius

You Are a Liberal for Life

You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it. For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business. You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic. Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.

You Should Vote For Kerry

Though You'd Rather Vote for Michael Moore

I have a bit of a Bif fetish right now! She kicks so much ass.

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A snippet of the conversation held between me and Morrissey last night, in bed* :
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